Surreal Life.

 
When I first found out I was pregnant, I looked at that home test expecting a negative, and of course my jaw literally dropped. "Oh. My. Gosh.... ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh." I believe is what was said on my end. Shock. Good shock, but shock nonetheless. And then tears. Happy, happy tears.

After that I couldn't stop thinking. I still couldn't actually believe it. No one tells you that it takes awhile for it to actually set in and become real. It's not like your belly automatically pops out and you feel a little something moving around in there to reassure you, "Hey mom! I'm in here!" So I did what I'm sure every other mom does in those first couple of months. Dream, daydream, and think way too much.

The best way I could describe it to anyone was, "Surreal." I was constantly thinking about how when you're young, really young, you say, "One day I'm going to get married and have babies." And you grow up picturing these things wondering what it will be like, because you know it's in your future. But at the same time, it doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel like it will actually happen. You really just think you're going to be the same 13 year old girl forever daydreaming about these things.

And then you get married. You think, "Weird. I'm actually married now. I'm someone's wife." Once that finally sets in and you become comfortable and so happy, the question always comes up. "When are you going to have kids?" Oh. Psh. Not for a looooooong time. And then you think, wait, maybe we should. Should we? And the next thing you know, you're looking at a positive home pregnancy test saying, "Oh. My. Gosh."

I am so happy where I am at this point. And I hope that 13 year old me would be pleased as well. Although, the way 13 year old me pictured my life was being married to Justin Timberlake or Leondardo Dicaprio, with kids that seemed to just pop out at the age of 5. And there was no labor involved.

Or maybe that was just me.
♥